Reading Bravely

It's been a while since I picked up a middle grade novel.  Actually that's a lie, I've picked up a lot of novels, read about ten pages and then put them back down.  I just haven't been able to get into reading these past three years.  Reading to me is about sharing stories and connecting with the world.  However, I also learned that reading to me started as an escape.  I used reading to escape my previous marriage.  I was so unhappy with who I was as a person and with my life, but I didn't want to admit it or hurt my ex's feelings by expressing how truly unhappy I was becoming.  I used reading to avoid those conversations.  I finally had the courage to have that conversation and I'm so happy for my family that I put down the book and focused on what I was avoiding.   I am happily remarried and he is dating an incredible woman who loves our children dearly.  

So the question I've been asking myself is can I get back into reading without using it as an escape.  I have never been happier in a relationship, so the last thing I want to do is escape behind the cover of a book.  I picked up As Brave As You by Jason Reynolds a few days ago and started to read it because I was home alone, so I wasn't avoiding anyone.  My husband walked in the door and I continued reading because I didn't hear him come home.  When I looked up and finally realized he was standing there, I felt guilty.  However, he looked at me and said, "you're so beautiful when you read."  It was in that moment that I realized reading wasn't about avoiding life anymore, but reading is who I am as a person.  Sharing my love of reading and books isn't about avoiding my life, but about sharing a piece of me with everyone who cares to listen.

I couldn't have read a better book to help jumpstart my reading life again.  I needed a book that taught  me that life iss not about making mistakes, but about being brave with the consequences of those mistakes.  In As Brave As You, Genie and his almost 14 year old brother are forced to spend the summer down south with their grandparents while their parents work on their marriage.  Neither boy was thrilled with the idea of waking early every morning and doing daily chores put forth by their grandma.  However, Ernie was quickly distracted by a cute girl and Genie spent his time talking to his grandfather who lost his vision twenty years prior.  Grandpop had many words of wisdom for the boys, but when his weaknesses and fears were exposed his wisdom and advice were put to the test.  This was an incredible story of overcoming fear and loss in order to be brave and accept prior faults, so that one can to move on knowing their true self.